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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Saying Goodbye: When the Path is Clear

***After I made the following decision, wrote it up and scheduled it to post, I read a few very coincidental sounding decisions on other blogs. I share this only because the similarity had my jaw hitting the floor. Obviously my thoughts and feelings are my own. That, or there is something in the water. Haha!***

As a child I used to play a game that my sisters and I called the blind game. Not very creative, but there it is. I've played this game a few times with my kiddos over the years too. Basically one person wears a blindfold for a specified amount of time and is essentially blind, while the others try to either help or hinder the progress of the blindfolded individual. It's good for a laugh. 

Problem is, I'm not a very good blind person. My arms are always flailing about, feeling for anything that might be in my way, even in a space where I'm positive of the layout. I'm not very trusting. I walk slowly, taking baby steps to feel my way to where I'm headed, constantly fearful of the moment when someone playfully sneaks up behind me and scares a good five years off of my life. 

Most of the time this is how walking though life feels. We take baby steps, not really sure of God's direction. Does He want me to turn left or right? Say yes or no? Move forward or stay still? It's hard to definitively know where to place that next step. 

But every now and then God grants us a glimmer of clarity, a moment to peer into the future, a peace about a specific direction. I love those moments. Even when they oppose where I previously thought He wanted me to go. 

I've been holding so tightly to my dream of (someday) publication and everything the goes along with it...all the social media, the blogging, everything. But if I'm honest (with you and myself) I just don't have the time, the energy or the passion for it...at least not now anyway. My babies need more of my time. And quite frankly, I'm happy to give it to them. 

What I've been sensing so clearly is that I need to open up my tightly fisted hands and give my dreams back to Him- the creator of time, the source of our strength and energy and the gifter of our passions. 

At the beginning of the year, I chose my one word for 2013. The word that resonated with me over and over was relationships. I thought that meant to foster and build relationships via social media, to deepen my existing relationships, but what now seems very apparent to me is that my desire for relationship hasn't been for the friendship variety (although the friends I've met online have greatly brightened my life and I love you all!) but for the Almighty one. I am experiencing a deep hunger to spend all my free time digging deeper into His word and somehow that desire has trumped any of my previously treasured plans and dreams. Funny how that happens, huh? :) 

This doesn't mean that I want to unplug altogether. I still love to read your blogs and visit with you all on Facebook. What it does mean is that my neglected little blog will cease to exist. It also means that I will finally be free of that eternal feeling of failure as I strive to meet self-imposed writing goals only to fall far short. 

I'm happy about my decision and so very at peace to be walking confidently with my blindfold on toward the One that gives all good things. If writing enters my life again, it will be on His terms and not mine. And I'm okay with that. 

Much love and hugs! 

(Heather Sunseri and Joanne Bischof, I owe you both reviews for Mindspeak and Though my Heart is Torn. Since my blog is no longer, I will gladly post my thoughts on Amazon and any other site that will let me. Rest assured they were glowing reviews anyway! So one last shout out to anyone who needs a book recommendation. Both were stellar!) :) 

10 comments:

  1. I'm going to miss reading your posts, but any time you're following on the path that God is leading you, great things are going to happen :)

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  2. I love that you are at peace. I believe there is so much out there trying to keep us from a state of peace, it's refreshing to hear that you have clarity and you are walking in that!

    Stay in touch!!!
    ~ Wendy

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  3. Oh, Lacie, I just found myself misting up. Partly because I will miss your blog here, but much more importantly because I am so amazed and just awed by your leap of faith, your willingness to open those hands on your dreams and put that faith in God...and devote that extra time to your kids. What a great testimony of your love for them, and for the Lord. Hugs!!!

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  4. Gulp!!! This is the second blog like this today. I just read Sarah Forgrave's too. God is doing an amazing work -- you will never regret investing in the eternal investment of your children. Keep on keeping on and don't be a stranger on FB!! Much love!!

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  5. Lacie, oh man, I don't know why I'm so sad and proud. I know how difficult it is to balance life and motherhood and writing, all while trying to keep God front and center, first and foremost. I see that God gave you a peace about this decision and I am truly happy about that. I'm a little sad because I've seen how much talent you have. Sad that I don't know when I will see you again! But excited because God's plans are always for our good. And sometimes we have to surrender the timing and trust him to work it out in the future.

    Something tells me your writing days aren't over for good. You never know how God might use them or even repurpose them in the future.

    Love you!

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  6. I love how you worded this, Lacie, and as you know, I'm in a similar place. There's something really freeing about being reckless for Him. He'll guide our paths each day, and the only thing we have to worry about is the next step.

    Hugs,
    Sarah

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  7. Dear, sweet Lacie, my heart goes out to you. I know this decision had to be a tough one to make, but I admire your willingness to listen to the Lord and follow his leading. Like so many, I'll miss seeing your posts. Unlike many, I live close and can meet you for lunch, so count on invitations, my friend.

    As a note: I find it interesting that both you and Sarah--my last two ACFW roomies--made this announcement back-to-back. I hope this doesn't make it tough for me to get a roommate down the road. I really love encouraging writers. Honest, I do. :-)

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  8. I'm going to miss you! Sometimes the "not now" directions from God are the most difficult. Love on those kiddos, listen carefully for God's leading, and know that friendship transcends writing!

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  9. Aw, Lacie, I know I haven't frequented your blog much, but I know exactly what you mean. As moms, we have to prioritize. Doesn't mean the dreams are DEAD, just that it's not the time. When my kiddos were little, I wanted to write a book SO BADLY, but it wasn't the right time. Now that they're bigger, I have more time to pursue my dream (doesn't make it happen any faster, unfortunately!). All the best to you and blessings on you for following God's leading!

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  10. I shall miss your blog presence. I commend you on being obedient and know God will thoroughly bless you for it. God's all about timing.

    Much love sweet friend, see you on facebook and I have your number so... ha! Love you!

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I'd love to hear your thoughts too!